Perseverance

I found my patience, strength, and loyalty all being tested today. If my Gram was still around I would have called her tonight after the boys went to bed and she'd say, "Manda, it's ok. I love you and so does God. Pray about it, go to sleep, and tomorow will be a new day." If only I could hear her say those words to me. I craved a hug today and some encouraging words from my Grandma who passed away a year and a half ago. I just have to keep telling myself I can do it. I will do it. I have to do it. I have to survive. I have to make it day to day.

The mail brought some horrible news tonight and when usually I would cry and remain in a sour mood for the rest of the night I went to my room, locked the door, and just sat there for about 5 minutes. I don't know what it was this time but I didn't want it to ruin my whole night. I didn't want to treat my boys differently just because I was in a bad mood. I realized that it wasn't their fault that what happened did. And even though the situation the news put us in isn't lovely I can't change that it has happened. I needed to take a deep breath and move on. I can get through tough times.

5 or 6 years ago I would have broke down and laid in bed for days crying, pouting, and wondering what I was going to do. But now I know better. I need to show my kids that when faced with a tough situation you need to face it and not hide from it. You need to learn how to deal with problems and find solutions to your problems.

"I can do this. I will do this."